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Sometimes when I can’t sleep I write aimless poetry

afterwards I’m always exhausted

I think words back up inside me and my brain can’t turn off until they’re gone

I think it’s a blessing

it could be a curse

it’s probably only worth while if what I’m writing is something people want

but it’s what I want

so there’s that

sometimes I think about my voice

about how I come across in every poem I’ve written

I think maybe I can keep it

I think maybe I won’t have to change it to something different

maybe if I send my work out to enough people

someone eventually will take it and decide it’s good enough

I’m not against editing

or corrections

or anything like that

but I don’t want to alter what I am and who I am

so that I have pretty metaphors

illustrating the way your body is a comet

instead of the comet’s actually circling outside your window

I just want to feel like I have something

deep down inside me that’s worth something and does something

instead of this inescapable vomit that I can’t stop from coming up

even if it’s no good at all.

2/7/2017

Riley Welch