Speculation.

If you read too much
you fall
into circles of narration
where your life becomes
one
big
bad
non-ficiton
essay.
And you think about
all the parallels
between
your past
and present
and you speculate
on the future 'if'.
You tell yourself
stories
about things you did when you were younger
and translate it over to your
current actions.
Someone
somewhere
would eat it up,
if you would just write it down.
You.
Unraveling every present
second.
Bit by bit.
Narrating the way you towel off
after a long shower
and wrap your wet hair
into a tight bun on your head.
And you think about that phase you went through
when you were young
in 3rd or 4th grade
where you didn't bath.
Well, not totally,
you took a shower every night
and turned the hot on high
and stood in the corners
so only the heat would touch you.
And that's when you started taking scalding showers.
Now your showers are cold,
because you need to be woken up.
Or at least feel like you do,
just want to stumble out of the shower
eyes wide
and ready.
But that's how your brain
churns
now.
Now everything is broken
down
into all these past
and present
and sometimes future words.
And that's what happens
when you read too much.

8/21/2015
Riley Welch